


Makeshift

by ImaMePanda



Category: Original Work
Genre: Domestic Discipline, Drug Addiction, Drugs, Dysfunctional Family, Families of Choice, Family Drama, Family Issues, Father Figures, Gen, Recreational Drug Use, Spanking, Step-parents, Underage Drinking, Underage Drug Use
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-13
Updated: 2015-07-13
Packaged: 2018-04-09 02:29:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4330377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImaMePanda/pseuds/ImaMePanda
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There are some rules, that even in a untypical dysfunctional family of heavy drinkers, stoners, bikers, rednecks and hippies, you can't get away with breaking. Because people who love you don't let you hurt yourself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. As you venture through these dusty doors...

I ask only as you venture through these dusty doors, with their peeled paint and gouged wood, into my world, that you keep an open mind, and do not judge too quickly. This is not a world of black and white, easy to understand right and wrong decisions, where people are all good or all bad, and the hero swoops in at the end to save the day. 

Are there worlds like that, families like that? I've sure as hell never seen any.

This is a story of hard workers and harder drinkers-and some hard drinkers who wouldn't know hard work if it kicked them in the ass. Of video game junkies, and even a few real ones. Street kids and orphans, punks and ex-gangbangers, grown now, who are determined that their children will always have a home to go too, and a warm bed to sleep in-even if sometimes it isn't their own. People who never forgot where they came from. Where you're never forgotten, you always know that somebody has your back.

Survivors who refuse to give up long after the rest of the world has dismissed them, men and women who will do anything for each other, hardasses who have cracked more than a few skulls in their day, now just doing the best they can one day at a time. Of a family made up of the most broken pieces of broken homes come together to try and form something bigger and better then they could ever be on their own-sometimes they even succeed.

And sometimes, you know, they fail. 

Family parties where at least one fist fight always breaks out, and that broken dream you just keep reaching for, because anything is possible right? Of mothers and fathers, sons and daughters, addictions and disorders, screaming so loud you can't take it, and wondering why the fuck they can’t put up the whiskey bottle for one night? Just ONE goddamn night? 

And then there comes the night that they do. And the victory you taste can be almost overwhelming.

True brothers and sisters, even when there is no blood between them, pot getting sold out of the back room to cover the rent, and days spent scrambling figuring out how you're going to make dinner for fourteen, fifteen people, cause your next door neighbor got laid off again, and you’re feeding his kids tonight. Of laughing so hard you cry, and still can't stop laughing, and people who say I love you almost constantly, who claim and cling to the idea of family, because at the end of the day it’s the one thing no one can take away from you. 

We are the proverbial village it takes to raise a child, only most of us are still raising ourselves.

I'm Tessa, and this is the story of my family, with all their faults and glories exposed. So be warned-there will be violence and there will be cursing. Drug use is common, and most of it condoned and accepted. Teenagers drink and smoke, though the very young ones at least get in trouble for it. There are about as many characters as in the average Russian novel, though luckily not as many of them have nicknames.  
This is my family-rough around the edges, colorful, crazy, and quite often on the wrong side of the law. Accept us as we are or turn back now-most of us don't take criticism well.

Not from outsiders anyway.

And always remember-sometimes the difference between the good guys and the bad guys is just heart.

*·*·*·*·*·*

Silas glared at the yellow kitchen wall to the right of his uncle as the man went on and on. Part of him-the part of him that didn't want to punch a hole through said wall-knew that he had a right to bitch. It was the way he went about it that bothered him-did he have to be such a dick?  
“Silas? Dammit Silas, I'm trying to talk to you here! What do your ears not work now, instead of just your damn brain?” The young man turned his eyes back to his uncle's then and the older man sighed guiltily inside at the flash of hurt he saw in them, but before he could make up his mind what to say next, Silas retorted stiffly.

“Yeah Uncle Rico,” His voice was carefully controlled as he spoke, “Everything up top broken, so might as well not waste your breath, right?” Silas turned away, flashing his uncle a smile that was bright for all the wrong reasons and went unhurriedly down the hall to his room, the muscles bunching in his shoulders from the agitation he refused to let show.

Rico let him go, leaning against the wall with a sigh and rubbing a hand over his face. He was getting too old for this, and his own m'ijo wasn't even a teenager yet. He let himself lean against the wall for another minute before standing with a sigh. His boy was why, well he would let Silas alone for now, he couldn't just let this go.

He wasn't stupid. He knew exactly what had been going on under his roof, and he couldn't allow it anymore.

*.*.*.*.*.*.*

Silas walked into his room, though he suspected it wouldn't be his room for much longer now, careful not to slam the door behind him. He stood there for a minute, anger radiating through his tense body, doing his best to take the calming breaths that he knew would help if he could just get through enough of them before he lost his temper. 

No good. He crossed the room and pulled open his closet door, reaching up and snagging a backpack off a wall hook, unzipping the second pocket and pulling open an interior velcro pouch to get-nothing. He froze. Fuck. How could there be nothing? HOW? 

With an almost savage force he tossed the bag to the ground, then snatched it up again, pulling open the rest of the pockets and looking more and more disheartenedly in each one. Where could it be? Where in the world could he have been stupid enough...he froze.

Oh shit, oh god...Silas closed his eyes. If he had left his kit where he thought he had he was just dead...he thought he was going to be sick...

*.*.*.*.*.*.*

Tessa was smiling down at the little girl in front of her, ushering her towards the playroom the next room over, “Go on Ellie, TV time is over and-” when the front door of the daycare where she worked banged open with a tremendous crash. She jumped around startled, moving in front of Ellie and the kids now crowding in the doorway behind her, craning their heads to try and see what was happening, to block them from whatever it was. 

After a minute she regained her senses and started forward to figure out what in the hell was going on-only to freeze as a familiar, and at the moment entirely furious, face came around the corner of the entrance way and headed right for her, dragging a slightly smaller familiar face next to him by the ear. “Clay?”

"Sorry Tess, but I need a favor, watch B for me," Clay practically growled it as he thrust his stepson in her direction. Tessa gaped, hands reaching out automatically to steady the kid, who seemed rather wobbly on his feet. She needed only a quick glance to tell he was high on something, and it wasn't the usual weed her surrogate little brother/cousin often reeked of. 

She opened her mouth to ask, "What the hell?", and remembering the watching crowd of kids, thought better of it. Luckily-or unluckily depending on what she told her boss-one of her co-workers appeared then and Tessa blurted out that she had to "deal with a minor family emergency", and then grabbed her-whatever Clay was to her anyway, and hauled him behind her as fast as she could to the small break room, Darren being dragged along in their wake. It was deserted for once, and thanking God for that, Tessa turned to him and let that, "What the hell?", finally escape.

"You do realize I'm at work right?” is what Tessa finished with a second later, a bit furious herself now-She loved this job and was worried they were going to get her fired.

"Yes, dammit, but this is serious. I found," here he yanked Benny who was slowly slumping towards the floor upright again, "this little fucker, snorting H in the fucking bathroom, and before I deal with him, I need to deal with the idiot who brought it into the house in the first place." Clay then thrust B at Tessa again, nearly making them both fall, since B might have been just an 18 year old kid but he was still a foot taller than her. Tessa glared at him-shit, his pupils were tiny, what the hell was wrong with this kid? Fucking heroin? She was going to chew his ass to the fucking moon-and moved to help him sit in a nearby chair, when she suddenly realized she had a pretty good idea just who Clay was going to "deal" with. Tessa turned back towards him, the words spilling from her mouth before she could think better of it.

"Please don't kill my little brother." She was serious, almost pleading-well it had technically been years since Clay was somebody really dangerous, he still had that feeling about him. Clay looked a little thuggish with his uniform of baggy, stained gray hoody and worn blue jeans, stubbly scalp and grill just a little bit fucked up, the stocky body and the few tattoos, but you only had to be around him a few minutes to feel the air of respect that just seemed to be commanded by him. That his usual playful smirk had been replaced by a dead serious expression didn't help. Clay could be a little thuggish when it came down to it, and he was a born leader, a savage one at times. He wouldn't kill Silas, Tessa knew that-but for something like this he might hurt him very, very, badly.

Clay turned back from where he'd been nearly out the door to stare hard at her, "Tessa-Did you know about this?"

"Of course not! If I'd had any idea that B was doing something so stupid, let alone that Silas was giving it to him, I would have told you.” She would have too. Benny muttered "snitch" under his breath at her, but they both ignored him.

"Silas didn't give him anything, Benny found it. He already admitted that. I'm asking you," Clay took a step closer to Tessa, his face set and voice icy, "if you knew Silas was using again. Did you?"

Tessa hesitated, not quite sure what to say-technically she hadn't known anything, hadn't seen anything suspicious, not really-but still she'd known, or at least been pretty sure. Clay took her silence for what it was, and smiled tightly at her, nodding. It wasn't a nice smile. "I'll talk to you later."

He turned to leave again, and before she could think better of it, Tessa blurted out, "Wait, what are you going to do to him?"

"Boil him in oil." Clay deadpanned looking annoyed, as he turned back once again, his frustration with the situation truly building on his face for the first time, "I'm going to kick his fucking ass, what do you think I'm going to fucking do? He brought FUCKING heroin into my house! Where my fucking wife and kids, my sister-in-law and nephews live! Where my infant grandson comes to play! Silas did! Someone I'm supposed to be able to trust, someone who is supposed to be family! What, you think I should just let that go?" Tessa looked at the ground, wringing her hands slightly and shook her head. Of course not. But...

She heard an angry sigh and muttered curse, and then Clay took a step forward and put his hand on Tessa's shoulder, "Look, I ain't gonna actually hurt the bastard alright? I've worked with that boy, drank and joked with him, made sure he had food in his belly and a roof over his head for far too long to do him any actual dirt. He might wish he was dead by the time I'm through with him, but he won't be. You and your brothers are family, the worst thing that little bastard has to worry about is getting smacked around a little, if he really pisses me off maybe my belt striping his ass, alright?"

Suddenly, so suddenly Tess wasn't really sure he meant to do it his hand was cupping her cheek, "I don't hurt my kids." He was out the door and gone before Tessa could respond and she just stood there staring for a minute.

"B?"

"Sup, homie?" returned Benny, from where he'd made himself comfy on the floor, smiling sleepily at her.

"Did Clay just adopt me?"

"Yea. It's cool when he does stuff like that."

"He's not nearly old enough to be my dad." Even as she protested part of her brain was processing the idea and not finding it entirely-bad. They were already family, called themselves that anyway, and even if it wasn't brought up again it was pretty nice to know he felt that way. Still weird as fuck though. She couldn't have been more than ten years younger than him, not that even. More of an age to be a brother, really. 

"Man, he's barely old enough to be my dad, but Clay doesn't play by regular rules." Benny managed his trademark grin-so mischievous it could choke a horse, with a little bit of natural sweetness thrown in-even as he slid further down the counter he was leaning on, unable to focus his eyes at her, "How many you up to now?"

"Huh?"

"Dads. I'm up to three. First James, even if I hardly ever get to see him, then Stacey, but he left, so fuck him, and now there's Clay. Well, Clay was always there, but now he's not just Mom and Uncle Tanner's friend. And, well, I guess he's more just a parent than a Dad-I really do have enough already. I like him better this way, mostly. Didn't at first, but now I do. Even if he is hellllaaaa bossy." Benny began pressing his hands to his closed eyes and pulling them away, apparently fascinated with this process.

Tessa left him to it for the moment, snorting at B's "didn't at first", comment, even as she thought about his question, because that was just about the understatement of the century. There had been a year-long epic showdown involving Benny alternating between having a constantly cheerful yet completely flippant attitude towards Clay and just being an outright little shit. 

With a brief pause in mid-June right before his birthday where he'd been a complete angel. 'Cause, ya know, no one saw through that.

Clay had displayed an amount of patience none of them ever would have expected, along with an occasional evil grin directed B's way, accompanied by a quiet, "You should quit pushing, bud. Just quit pushing.” It had, inevitably ended badly, as predicted by one and all.  
It had not however been the person they expected who ended it-when Momma Jena had enough, she had enough. You just didn't fuck with her.

"Actually, I think I'm up to three now too. If dead people count anyway." The only real question she had was whether or not the dead man had counted when he was alive. Tessa shook her head then forced herself to look back at Benny who was now waving his hands in patterns in front of his closed eyes. "What the hell are you doing?" She asked, amused despite herself. 

"I can see through my eyelids Tessa, this is like awesome." He grinned in Tessa's general direction with his eyes still closed. She rolled her eyes, remembering an experience she'd had with opium as a teenager, but couldn't wipe the answering grin off her face. God, kids were stupid.

"No you can't, dumbass, you're just looking at the shadows coming through them. Your eyelids are thin enough that happens all the time, you just don't really notice it." She reached down and hauled him to his feet, "C'mon, I need you to sit over here at the table, and try and act normal, I gotta go find somebody to cover my shift."

"Yeah," said B swaying slightly where he stood, groaning a bit, "before you do that, do you have a garbage can I can use? I'm gonna hurl."

*.*.*.*.*.*


	2. Waiting for the shoe to drop...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Tessa is busy trying to figure out what to do with Ben, Clay is on the hunt for Silas, well Silas himself is scrambling to try and clean up his mess, unaware it's already too late.

Clay threw himself into his truck, door rattling in its frame as he slammed it. He punched the steering wheel as hard as he could, and then slumped back into his seat, breathing heavily. He'd been hanging onto his temper by a thread in there, and wasn't entirely sure he'd be able to keep his promise to Tessa. 

If it were anyone else, anyone else who had fucked around with him like this, disrespected his home, put his children in danger-and lied to his goddamn face not more than a month ago when he'd promised him he was now a year and a half clean-he would have cleaned the floor with them. Anyone else would be left broken and bloody, stripped of everything and dumped in the back of some dirty alleyway, with a warning not to let himself be seen in Clay's neighborhood again. It wasn't as though he were dealing with a stupid teenager-Silas was a grown man, twenty-four years old, old enough to reap what he sowed. 

But he couldn't do that to Silas-even now, so furious he kept filling his hands clench and his teeth grind, he couldn't. 

That didn't change the fact that his hand was itching to backhand that boy right across his lying face. 

Fumbling in his hoody pocket he found his pack of cigarettes and pulled one out, lighting it with relief. Frown firmly etched onto his face, he started the truck and shifted into gear, heading out of the parking lot at fifty easy, tires squealing.

And to think, he'd thought this was going to be a good day...

*.*.*.*.*.*

*flashback*

Clay whistled slightly to himself as he walked down the hallway, towel slung over his shoulder as he headed to the bathroom. It was Saturday and while he had to meet with a client later, get some papers signed for a building contract, it was far different from when he had to get up at 4 in the morning so he could start picking up the rest of the crew by five. He got to the end of the hallway still whistling, and went to try the door knob and frowned to himself as it didn’t turn, trying it again harder to make sure it wasn’t just stuck. 

What the hell? For once all the adults were out of the house, either at work, or in the case of Daze, smoking it up next door. He’d walked by the boys eating cereal and watching cartoons, all four of them, so who?...wait. B had spent the night last night so there should have been five. His oldest stepson had moved out a few months ago, and yet was still spending a lot of his time at the house-if anything more than he had when he officially lived there.

And he’d headed off to the bath over an hour ago, right after his mother went to work. Well Benny was a bit of a pretty boy, and could spend twenty minutes on just his hair, this was excessive even for him. Clay raised his hand and pounded on the door. “Hurry it up in there.” No response. “B?” He pounded again. “What did you fall in?” When there was still no response he began to get annoyed. “Everything all right?” No answer. And he couldn’t hear anything, not even water running. He pounded again, “B? You ignoring me? Benny? What’s going on in there? You alright?” 

Still no answer, but that time he heard some movement, followed by a tremendous crash and a yelp, and he tried the doorknob again, worried now, “Benny? What happened? Answer me, or I’m gonna knock the door open!” There was more muffled movement, but still no answer, and he turned and begun slamming his shoulder into the door above the knob, turning it as he did so, hoping it would pop loose. 

He rammed his shoulder into it one, two, three-and the fourth time was a charm as the simple lock un-clicked and the door flew open so quickly Clay flew into the room with it. It took only a split second for his eyes to land on Benny, kneeling on the other side of the bathroom, the hamper knocked over behind him, attempting to stuff the items spilled out on the floor around him back into a small leather zip up pouch, and making a rather messy job of it in his nervousness. It took only another second for him to realize just what was spilled on the ground around his stepson, and he was across the room, yanking him up and away from the mess, instinctively slapping his hand to get him to drop the needle in it, the way you did when a toddler picked up something dirty.

“What the hell Benjamin?!” Without waiting for a response, he shoved the boy even further away from the contraband on the floor, and pushed him down so he was sitting on the edge of the bathtub, though he immediately slid down the side of it, before turning and picking up the last of the spilled kit, trying not to let his hands shake as the overload of emotions washed over him. Once everything was either back in the bag, or directly in the toilet and flushed with the case of the heroin-fucking heroin-, Clay sat the bag on the floor, and grabbing a thick rag to lay over the top of it-didn’t want to poke himself- stomped on the bag, repeatedly, till the whole thing was flat as a pancake, everything inside utterly ruined and B, gaping at him wide-eyed, pushed himself back against the tub as though afraid he would be the next thing stomped flat. 

Good. Let him be afraid.

Clay made himself take a deep breath, then another. There was no way in hell he was going to calm down anytime soon, but if he didn’t control himself he might actually hurt the kid, and he wasn’t willing to do that. Another deep breath, and he stepped closer to Benny, who opened his mouth, as though he thought he could actually explain, but Clay narrowed his eyes and he snapped it shut right quick.

“Let me see your arms.” 

“I didn’t sh-”

“Let me see your fucking arms right now Benjamin Alexander, or I swear I will take a belt to you so fucking fast!” Benny already had his arms held out in front of him, sleeves rolled up past his elbows before he finished talking. There were no marks, and Clay breathed a sigh of relief-if he had shot up, not knowing what the hell he was doing, they would have been on their way to the hospital. If there was a air bubble…well, it hadn’t happened, and more than likely Benny would be fine, although not when Clay-or his momma for that matter-were through with him.

“How much did you take?” He bit out the words and Benny answered immediately, though the temporary clear headedness his shock had caused was clearly fading away as his head lolled to the side and his words slurred as he answered.

“Just a couple lines, man.”

“Where the hell did you get it?” B looked at him, mostly just really high, but there was a mixture of nervousness and sullenness showing in his eyes, and he shrugged before responding.

“Found it.” Clay growled.

“Don’t you get flippant with me kid.”

“I did find it.” Benny shrugged again, “Don’t gotta believe me, but it’s true.” 

“Where?” Clay grabbed Benny by his shirt collar pulling him up into his face so that he rose off the floor. Benny for his part, swallowed and decided to cut the attitude when he saw the look in his old man's eyes.

“Here. In the bathroom.” Benny pointed as best he could, “behind the hamper.”

“That *isn’t* goddamned funny, B.” But even as he said it Clay felt a bit cold, and a bit sick. Benny, despite his beliefs to the contrary was not a very good liar, and he looked like he was telling the truth. But, who would of…?

Shit. 

With a curse on his lips he yanked Benny up by his arm, the boy stumbling over his own feet, turning back at the last minute to snatch up the ruined kit-he’d toss it in the dumpster down the street as they left.

He didn’t know what he was gonna do, not yet, but not doing something was impossible.

First, make sure the kid was actually okay. Trisha down the block should be back from her shift at the E.R, and he'd painted her garage for her last month, she owed him. They’d see what she’d make of this anyway.

*.*.*.*.*.*

The younger children stared in confusion as Benny was dragged out the front door, Clay shouting back at the last minute to not leave the property 'til they were back. After the door was closed they exchanged looks, before Tyler, thirteen years old and about as big a delinquent as you could be at that age had stood up and was heading for the back door, tossing a, “Cool, I'm out.” at the other boys over his shoulder.

“Dude,” called his cousin Jameson, “Clay said to stay here, and he's already pissed-he'll kill ya if he comes back and you're not here.” Tyler was already out the back door, and scaling the fence, and Jameson turned to look at Carl and Ryan, shaking his head, knowing Tyler was doomed. 

*end flashback* 

*.*.*.*.*.*

Silas tore through his backpack for the third time, mind racing, unable to believe what he knew had to be true. It couldn't be true, it had to be here.

Where was it? Where the fuck was his kit? 

Oh god. Oh god.

If it wasn't here, where could it be?

Silas dropped his head into his hands. He knew exactly where it was-where it had to be, if it wasn't here, and clearly it wasn't. He just hadn't wanted to admit it to himself. Still didn't want to.

It was at the house-home. Not here, where he actually lived, but where for the last two years or so, since he'd started talking to his brother and sister again, he'd found family. 

Well he'd fucked himself out of that right quick. This might be a new record, even for him.

He'd been changing in the bathroom two days ago, before they went swimming, and his kit must be there.  
In the bathroom the whole family used...if one of the little ones found it...

He dropped his head into his hands and fought the urge to cry. 

*.*.*.*.*.*

Tessa drove down the road aimlessly, not sure where to go, and with absolutely no clue what to do with the cargo in the backseat. She certainly wasn't going to take him back to the house like this. 

She bit her lip-texting Silas and warning him that Clay was on the hunt for him, giving him a heads up, was on her mind but she wasn't sure. Every time she went to pick up her phone she wound up putting it back down again. It was what they did-if someone was in it deep you warned them, it was just code. Silas would have done it for her, Tessa knew that. Any other day she would have, but...

But today part of her couldn't help but think Silas deserved to have this come at him out of the blue. Tess also didn't want him to do something stupid like bail out-this was not something that would get better with time.

And if she was in for it too, and Tessa knew she was probably going to get at least bitched at for not sharing her suspicions, she sure as hell didn't want to piss Clay off worse. Dealing with the mess that was sure to come her way at work would be bad enough.

It had been surprisingly easy to convince her boss that she needed the rest of the day off because her "little cousin" was very sick, and there was no one else to take care of him. It probably helped that she walked by right as Tessa was helping him into the bathroom. Whether she was happy or not was another question, but well, it had got them out of the building, right?

She was so dead. 

*.*.*.*.*.*

Clay's phone rang from where it was sitting on the dashboard, and he groaned as he saw the name on the screen. Jena. His woman had been at a work meeting when all this went down, and he was not looking forward to telling her. Jena believed in letting their boys fight their own battles in theory, but in reality she was rather overprotective. That it was Silas involved in this mess would just upset her more. She'd feel betrayed.

And she'd be her usual tough as nails, fair as a judge, but don't you dare give me any lip or I'll kick your ass all over town, Momma Jena she always was to the kids-and the closer they got to 40 the more everyone under thirty was one of the kids-but once they were alone she'd be a mess.

Not that he could blame her. 

The phone rang again, and he picked it up, "Hey Babe."

"Hey yourself. I think we may have a problem. He won't tell me what's wrong, but Silas showed up about half an hour ago, right after I got home, with just about the most hangdog expression I think I've ever seen, and is now sitting on the couch, saying he needs to talk to you. Also, I think he may have searched the bathroom. There was a lot of banging and bumping around, scrambling about in the cupboards when he went in there a few minutes ago." Jena sounded like she wasn't sure whether to be more amused, annoyed or worried about that.

"Keep him there," He growled, already swinging the truck around in a very dangerous U-turn, and making at least one other vehicle blare their horn at him. "I'll be home in twenty minutes."

"What do you know that I don't?"

"Tell you when I get there." Clay snapped his phone shut and tossed it down on the bench seat next to him, pressing on the gas. He'd assumed he'd have to track the boy down, and had been heading to where he knew Silas was staying with one of his uncles on the other side of town. He hadn't thought the kid would show up at his house.

Clay smiled slightly. As mad as he was, he had to admit the kid had some balls to show up and wait to confess. 

*.*.*.*.*.*  
Frowning to herself Jena walked back into the living room where Silas was watching her youngest son and nephew play Mortal Combat. He looked up and caught her eye as she walked in, and then blushed, looking down at the floor. Jena raised an eyebrow, and then looked over at the other boys, "Carl, Jameson, I need you to go play outside for a while."

"What?" 

"But Mom, we're on the last level!"

"Did I ask you? No, I told you. Move your butts, please and thank you." With a few muted grumbles, all nearly inaudible, the boys dragged themselves up and out the backdoor, as though the sun were poisonous.

As soon as the backdoor was shut, Jena turned to Silas, body posture becoming-aggressive wasn't the right word, but it wasn't exactly the wrong word either, "Alright spill-what the hell did you do?"

Silas averted his eyes from where they'd involuntarily moved up to meet hers when she spoke. He ordinarily tried to be very respectful and cooperative with Jena, because well, he liked her, and as tough as Clay was, everyone knew it was Jena who wore the pants. She was kind and motherly in a rough around the edges, not afraid to smack you if you fucked up way that he understood, and fun to boot. Jena could take a bigger bong rip than he could, and at the last big party they'd had, she'd been laughing and snapping pictures of the newly eighteen B and his friends doing their first keg stands. Well, supposedly their first keg stands. 

But he had no clue how she would react to this. This was different.

Clay was easy in a way. He'd probably alternate between beating the crap out of him and yelling so loud he'd wish he was deaf, for a good long while. But Silas could handle that. He'd dealt with that before, grown up with that. And he was pretty sure that Clay would forgive him at the end. 

He'd been in a similar position to Silas before, even if it was another drug, even if it was years. He'd hate it, and be furious, but he'd understand.

Silas wasn't so sure about Jena.

"Silas? Earth to Silas?" Jena's voice interrupted him, one hand planted on her big hip, and the opposite shoulder cocked back, voice firm and expectant, "I'm waiting for an answer buddy-boy."

Silas looked at the floor and said nothing for a moment, before drawing in a deep breath, "Could we wait for Clay?"

"Okay." Jena said after a long drawn out moment, still staring at him seriously, "Okay, we can wait for Clay. But are you sure you don't want to tell me, maybe get somebody on your side?"

Silas shook his head, "You're not going to be on my side on this one Jena. You-you probably won't even want me hanging around anymore after this." 

"Well now you're just plain being stupid-have you seen some of the fuck-ups I call my family?" Jena half-snapped this, angry that he would think that, but was still expecting at least a ghost of a smile in response, and found herself getting more than a little worried when he just sat there, staring. She took a step over and sank down on the couch next to him. "Is it that bad, boo?"

"Worse." Silas didn't say anything more, and after a minute Jena pulled him slightly over to lean on her. Twenty minutes was already taking far too long.

*.*.*.*


	3. Drugged Out Little Brothers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You're family. And I don't throw away my family."

Tessa bit her lip as she sat parked on an old logging trail. Benny had fallen asleep about halfway through the drive in the country she'd decided to take him on, rambling to himself in a voice so slow and giggly you could barely understand him. Tessa'd parked out here, where she sometimes came to skip class, because she knew no one would bother them, or even notice they were there.

But unlike most of the time when she came up here she wasn't prepared with a snack, a good book, or a bowl to smoke. She'd also gained a drugged out eighteen year old quasi-little brother. 

A scowl formed on her lips. Frankly she'd had enough of drugged out little brothers, and the confirmation that Silas was using again was almost too much in and of itself-that it had led to Benny touching that shit, was just, just....awful.  
Tessa didn't even want to think about how Skylar would react to this. Their big brother would have every reason to be mad, she wasn't exactly happy herself...but she didn't want this to set them them back to where they were two years ago. And it might. Her brothers' relationship was rocky at best, at times they were like best friends, constantly laughing and teasing (and ganging up on her) but most of the time they butted heads. She knew that (not so) secretly, much as they loved each other, they each kind of thought the other was a dickhead. She was pretty sure they were both right.

But they were family, they were brothers and Tessa wasn't about to give up on them getting along, even if at times they seemed to bring out the worst in each other.

Tessa wasn't going to give either of them up, not this time. They'd only just gotten Silas back, really. She wasn't losing him again. She *couldn't*.

A few minutes later B's hand on her shoulder, his long body bent over the back seat to reach, knocked her out of her reverie, bringing her head up from where it had been resting on the steering wheel. "Tessa you're crying. Don't cry Tessa. Clay wouldn't really hurt Silas." He said this with all the guilelessness of the small child he hadn't been in years, and for a moment she turned to tell him not to worry about it, everything was just fine little man, when she caught sight of the small bit of dried blood beneath his nose, from where the rough powder had ripped into his flesh, and felt anger surge up inside her.

"I know Clay wouldn't really hurt Silas. I just panicked earlier. But you know what would hurt Silas?" Tessa made sure to turn in the seat to meet Benny's eyes as she spoke, "You know what would hurt you? What would hurt everybody? One of you overdosing. One of you dying. Becoming a fucking addict. Silas already went down that path once, and we lost him for years B. Years! You grew up not knowing him because of that, by the time I really became close with your family, Silas wasn't a part of my or Skylar's life. Carl is only eleven, do you want him to grow up not knowing you?" She didn't add, "You *stupid*, reckless, selfish, *idiot*," on the grounds that it wouldn't be productive and probably wasn't entirely fair anyway.

"Lots of people in our family have been addicts," he protested, looking almost confused, but Tessa could see a hint of defiance in his eyes, a small bit of him outright refusing to understand, and she snapped.

"That's *not* a good thing, not some badge of honor, or a required ritual for fuck's sake! Jesus, B, yeah a lot of people in our family have been addicts, and let's be honest, some still are, but it's not what we want for you! We want more for you! A functioning addict is still an addict! Look at what's happened to people! Who’s in jail, who's miserable, who's not allowed to see their fucking kids?! Whose health is failing years before it should? Who’s just plain stupider than they used to be? Who’s dead B? Who's fucking dead?! Yeah, I love 'em, and I wouldn't trade them for anything, but it's not something to aspire to! And you fucking know better! You're too goddamned smart, too sweet-natured and hard working to go down that path. And for what? Curiosity and teenage fucking kicks? Fuck that Benny, straight *fuck* that." Tessa was glaring into his face as she snapped at him, moving forward to get right close, and he stared back wide-eyed.

"I...shit Tessa. I didn't...I mean, I'm not planning to do it again, I just, I found it in the bathroom, and I don't know...I guess I thought, might as well try everything once, right? Yolo?" She wasn't impressed with this argument, and deepened her glare to signify this.

"That's stupid as fuck D. You know better. Krokadil-which by the way according to the news has been getting mixed in with heroin lately-is also in the category of everything, and that shit eats flesh. Some experiences are not worth having." Benny looked away after a moment, real shame showing on his face for the first time. Tessa continued to stare him down from where she sat craned around in the front seat facing him. 

"Okay. I get it. I know I fucked up. I'm sorry...it's just everyone has all these stories, you know," he dropped his gaze, even as his voice became more insistent, "all these crazy exciting stories, and yeah maybe some of the shit they regret, but a lot of it they don't, 'cause you know they learned from it, and it made them who they are...and I guess I just wanted some of those stories for me."

"The bathroom of your Momma's house, with no one else around doesn't exactly make for a great story Benny." She said it gently, but he dropped his gaze further anyway. Tessa sighed. The truth was he was right-they all told stories from their wild and crazy days, and yeah, the stories might have started with, "God we were stupid," or "Lord, we needed our asses kicked that time.", and the younger ones tended to be careful with just what they shared still, but in the end everyone was laughing hysterically about the time a sixteen year old Silas got so drunk he stripped naked and then tried to run out to say hi to their mother in the parking lot when she got home, and Tessa and Skylar were doing everything they could to keep him in his room, or at least get him to put some damn shorts on.

Or the time his Uncle's Cord and Daze spent hours on acid walking up the same city block staring at the "glitter" in the sidewalk, Daze calmly telling the cop that eventually asked them to leave that they were looking for the yellow brick road and hadn't found it yet, did he know the way? The time Jena and his Auntie Rena stole their parent's car and went on a week long road trip all over the coast, stoned as hell the entire time, and all the friends they'd made, some of whom they still had.

The stories of the beer runs, and the near arrests, the actual arrests, the parties that lasted for days, the inside jokes and pranks, and all the stupid, stupid things they'd done. The crimes committed, drugs sold or grown, with the occasional bit of random destruction or vandalism thrown in just for kicks. 

They'd made being bad look fun, most definitely. And of course, everyone did expect B to get into his own trouble. It was all part and parcel of life. It was normal. What kid didn't have a few crazy stories of things they definitely shouldn't have done? Hell the kid already had more than a few crazy stories of his own-Tessa had heard most of them since he knew she wouldn't tell.

But this was different. Some things crossed a line, had too much of a personal risk. He'd heard the bad stories too. About friends who died or were never the same, about families torn apart, about the dreams that never happened because things just got too fucked up. He'd heard those stories too. He'd seen the winters when his family home was bursting with people who had nowhere else to go, when the children ate, but no one else did, when construction jobs dried up, and businesses fell apart, as beloved family members went to jail, desperation or depression leading to recklessness. When you were so cold that everything was firewood, even beloved possessions. Even family heirlooms. When everything was shit, everything, and all you had was each other. If you were lucky.

But somehow, perhaps because he was so young, perhaps because they'd tried to shield him from those things, those second lessons, those warnings, didn't seem to have sunk in.

Or perhaps...perhaps he just thought it was normal. That, that was what life was. Maybe those were the lessons he'd learned. He wouldn't have been wrong any more than he would have been right.

"You think you're sobering up yet?" She changed the subject, not exactly delicately, but not wanting to think about this anymore.

Benny shrugged, "I'm definitely not sober, but I'm not puking and giggling at the same time anymore." Tessa made a face. That had not been fun.

"Thank God for small favors. I don't want to take you home without Clay's go ahead-your Momma should be home by now, and I am sooo not going to be the one to tell her about this, I doubt you want to either." Jena was awesome, but Jena was also scary.

B shook his head exaggeratedly and shuddered, "Fuuuuck no. She's going to kill me anyway, might as well let her calm down first. Let Silas take the first round-err, no offense."

"None taken," Tessa waved a hand at the sheepish looking boy, "He deserves it, and not just for using either. That he left that shit at your folk's house, and in a place where you or one of the little ones could find it..." She shook her head, frustration with Silas bubbling close to the surface again.

"Yeah," B agreed, surprising Tessa out of her thoughts and making her arch an eyebrow at him, "his whole kit, needles and tie-offs, and everything, was on the bathroom floor, just lying half underneath the towel hamper. Before I, um, decided to do some I got pretty pissed that it was just lying around where one of the boys could have found it. Or what if Anna or Leslie had come over with one of the babies? Or my sister with Judah?"

"And after all this righteous anger, you decided the best thing to do was get rid of it. By sticking it up your nose." Her eyebrow rose even higher as Tessa deadpanned this back to him, and Benny did his best not to either blush or grin as he answered.

"Exactly. It was for the greater good." 

"Uh-huh. You're so full of shit your eyes are turning brown."

"My eyes are always brown."

"Exactly."

*·*·*·*·*·*

The two boys kicked a ball back and forth across the leaf strewn yard when Carl spoke up, surprising Jameson.  
"Silas is on heroin again isn't he? That's why he was acting so weird." Jameson gaped for a minute at the words, letting the soccer ball roll to a stop at his feet, his little cousin's still high pitched voice saying them so matter of factly throwing him for a loop.

"How do you know anything about that in the first place?"  
Carl gave him a dirty look, "I'm little, not stupid."

"Okay, okay," said Jameson in appeasement, kicking the ball back to him, "I get you. I don't know man...but I think so." He tried to say it gently, carefully, since he knew Carl pretty much hero worshiped Silas, but he was only fifteen and wasn't really sure if he succeeded.

Carl nodded, small face hard and stoic, "I thought so." He toed the top of the soccer ball with his foot moving it back and forth as he thought, and then suddenly pulled back and kicked it almost viciously towards the fence, so hard it ricocheted off with tremendous noise and landed halfway through the yard. "Why are grown-ups so fucking stupid?!" His face crumpled as though he were going to cry, but he forced himself to take a deep breath and push it away. To Jameson, who knew Carl still sometimes worked himself into a cry just from being told to do his homework or go to bed on time, this was quite alarming and he took a half step forward as though to comfort him before pausing, not really sure what to do, as Carl looked up at him again eyes shining but face steady. 

"Everyone thinks I don't remember, just 'cause I'm the littlest, but I do. I remember what it was like when everyone was on drugs-not weed, like Uncle's medicine he sells, but bad drugs. I remember when my Mom and Dad smoked meth. Not every day, not by the time I came around, but enough. I wasn't supposed to know, but I did. And it sucked. It sucked so bad. It wasn't supposed to happen again, it's supposed to be done! I thought Silas was cool!" His small frame shuddered with emotion he couldn't hold back anymore, and his face dissolved into tears, "It's not fair! It's not fair!"

Jameson knew what to do now and crossed the last few steps to his cousin and tugged him against his chest, holding him as he cried out his worry.

He closed his own eyes after a moment. The kid was right-it wasn't fair.

*·*·*·*·*·*

When he heard Clay's truck pull into the driveway Silas panicked. He'd been nervous before but suddenly his fight or flight response kicked on, and he had to get out of there now. He pushed himself away from Jena and sprang to his feet, feeling very much like a cornered animal-he couldn't go out the front door, and the backdoor just led to the yard, and he'd have to go around the side yard to the front-unless he hopped the fence...

"Honey, you just need to slow your roll and sit your ass back down before you make things even worse." Jena said this in a serious, no nonsense, tone, looking like if Silas didn't sit back down on his own she just might get up and make him.

Silas shook his head, but made no further move to leave, just standing there facing the door as though awaiting his executioner.

When the doorknob turned he strongly considered going for the backdoor but then realized that would probably wind up with Clay chasing him, and there were very few ways that could end but bad.

Or worse. Clay might not bother.

The door swung open, and there was Clay looking mad as hell. Silas met his eyes and without thinking about it began involuntarily backing away, until his calves hit the back of the coffee table and he froze. He opened his mouth to say something, and then paused with it hanging open as Clay started towards him with purpose in his steps. As the man's hand came up he flinched, turning his head away, expecting a blow-but instead his chin was gripped-harshly, with a bruising force, but still just gripped-and his head jerked back around to meet Clay's gaze."Give me one good reason I shouldn't kick the shit out of you and toss you out the front door for good?" 

"Clay!" snapped Jena, standing up from the couch, not believing what had just come out of her husband's mouth. Clay just held up his other hand to silence her and continued glaring into Silas's face, and, fuming and confused, she reluctantly waited, preparing to separate them if necessary. 

Silas shook his head, Clay's fingers digging into his jaw, feeling very out of his depth and wishing now he'd never come. He wasn't sure how Clay already knew, but it was obvious he did, and it's not like he could blame the man for not wanting a junkie around his family. Silas pushed down the surge of hurt anger that surged into his stomach at that thought-his temper wouldn't help now. He couldn't say he hadn't been warned...

"There isn't one...I don't have any reason or excuse good enough for this one." He tried to force his face into an understanding smile, but his lips were trembling so bad he was pretty sure he failed. "I fucked up so bad there isn't any reason you should want me around. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have come, I'm sorry." Silas did his best to try and stumble away from Clay and towards the front door, but Clay wasn't about to have that and stepped to the side with him, moving his grip to the young man's shoulder, shaking him a little roughly as he did so.

"Hey, wait a minute-I have a reason, even if you don't." His voice was still angry, but not so furious it was cold, like it had been when he first walked in. Silas looked back at him, still waiting for the other shoe to drop. "You're family. And I don't throw away my family."

"You don't?" It was a stupid question and Silas was grateful that his dark skin hid the blush he could feel crawling up his neck, but Clay didn't seem to mind.

"Nope." He raised his hand a bit to pat at the side of Silas's neck, in a gesture that was both comforting and very much a threat. "I do, however, kick the asses of stupid fucking kids who do hard drugs in my house, and then leave the rest for my kid to find."

Silas paled at learning that one of the boys had found his kit, but before he could say anything Jena spoke up again from beside him, having moved towards them while they were talking. 

"Excuse me, but someone needs to tell me what's going on, and they need to tell me now." Jena's face was highly upset, angry definitely, but far more worried than anything else. "Is Clay talking about what I think he's talking about Silas?" That it would not be good for Silas if he was, was heavily implied in her tone. "And what do you mean one of my babies found it?" She rounded on her husband as she spoke, "Which one? What happened? Why didn't you tell me?"

"Now Jena, doll, don't overreact but-" Jena gave Clay an incredulous glare.

“I think I’m being very calm for what I just heard-I'm not the one who just threatened a family member-did you see Silas's face when you said "for good"?-don't tell me not to overreact, babe. Now quit pussyfooting around and tell me what the hell is going on!"

"Okay, Jesus Christ, just give me a second alright." Clay took a deep breath and ran a hand over his head, "First off, he's just fine, remember that all right?" Jena nodded, the worry on her face growing despite Clay's words, "B found a bag with heroin in the bathroom this morning...and he tried some." Jena's entire face blanched, horrified and pale. "He just snorted it, didn't shoot it up," Clay said quickly reaching over to try and reassure his wife, "and he's fine, just fine baby, I swear." He ran his hands up and down her arms and she stepped closer to him instinctively, needing the comfort.

"Where's my baby?" Her voice was as demanding as it was shaken, and Clay answered with what was meant to be a soothing voice, even as he kept one eye on Silas to insure there were no escape attempts.

"He's with Tessa-I couldn't leave him here with the younger boys while I went looking for Silas, and for once no one else was home, here or next door on either side. She'll take good care of him."

"It didn't occur to you to call his *mother*?" She asked with incredulity tinged with anger, "What the hell Clay?" Jena wasn't entirely sure how to explain the level of dumbassery she felt had been involved in that decision, and just glared at her husband for a moment, before deciding there was nothing more she could do about that for now. "Text Tessa-have her bring him home." She watched Clay pull out his phone, then whirled to face Silas, making him try and hide his automatic gulp, "You did heroin in my house Silas? Are you insane little boy?" She took a step forward, purposefully crowding him, "You know, I oughta beat your ass, knock some sense back where it belongs."

Even intimidated Silas couldn't help but answer back, "Didn't you just yell at Clay for saying he was gonna beat me up?"

"Oh honey," Jena gave him what could only be described as an angry smirk, shaking her head, "I'm not gonna beat you up-I was being literal. If I decide to beat your ass, I will beat your *ass*." Silas stared at her for a moment, then when it finally clicked his eyes widened comically and he turned to Clay, looking desperate.

Clay who hadn't been particularly impressed with the attitude he'd heard in Silas's question just stared back, unmoved for a long moment, before speaking calmly. "Tell you what-you can choose; me or her?" Silas paled as he realized Clay was perfectly serious, or at least acting like it, still staring with surprising calm as he waited for an answer. 

"Wait-I didn't actually do any H in the house, I swear! I dropped it out of my bag when I was changing-when we went swimming, remember? I wouldn't do that I swear, and I'm so sorry B found it, I didn't mean for anything like that to happen, I..." He trailed off as he reminded himself of Benny's part in this, tears of shame burning behind his eyes as he ducked his head, just not sure what else to say. What he'd actually done wasn't much better then what he'd been accused of.

"Silas-look at me." Jena ordered, voice still very strict and upset, but gentler than it had been a moment ago, more to do with his distress than the new facts revealed, if the truth were to be known. Where was just icing on the cake-that Silas was using was what upset her. "I believe you," Clay, who wasn't quite so sure, gave her an exasperated look, but she ignored him, still annoyed that he'd dumped her son on Tessa like a package. "But, well you might not have shot up here, you're obviously still doing so. A kit in your backpack isn't a onetime fuck-up Silas Jackson. How long have you been using again?"

Silas looked away, not wanting to answer, instead volunteering, "I didn't realize my stash was gone for two days-so you know I haven't been using that much." He wasn't entirely sure why he was making excuses for himself now, when he'd come over here fully prepared to confess and take whatever was dished out, but he couldn't seem to stop himself.

Clay scowled severely, "That's not what you were asked-answer your mo-answer Jena right." Silas didn't even seem to notice the slip-up, and obediently opened his mouth, not willing or stupid enough to push any farther. 

"About two months." 

Silence, then, "How often?” quietly from Jena.

"At first not much, but now....two, maybe three times, a week." 

He cringed expecting an explosion, but instead there was silence until he thought he heard Clay say to himself, "Could be worse," in a relieved tone, but he might have just imagined it. When Silas looked up Clay's face was hard and disappointed, and Jena looked tired and sad, as though she'd seen this all too much before. He automatically went to avert his eyes, when the older man spoke up, "Hey, look at me." Silas didn't move. "Now Silas!" Silas did, and Clay continued, voice harsh, "You lied to me. You told me you were a year and a half clean at the barbeque we had for Evan's birthday, which last I checked was less than a month ago, so you were using again-hell, you lied to Evan too, and he won't be very fucking happy about that. We toasted to it, did shots to celebrate. You lied right to my goddamned face, for no reason at all that I can see-except maybe you were hoping to get caught in your lie. Was that it? There are better ways to get my attention, or my help." 

Silas said nothing, not entirely sure if the question was rhetorical or not and after a minute Clay went on, "You've worked so goddamned hard to get clean Silas, to make things right with your family, your parents, your brother and sister. What are you doing, risking fucking it all up like this?" Silas looked back at him, not sure what to say. It was a question he'd thought to himself many times lately, but he'd never come up with an answer.

How could any answer be enough to explain away that?

*·*·*·*·*·*


	4. Chapter 4

Tessa walked down the snack aisle of the plaid pantry, deciding what to buy with her admittedly meager discretionary funds. Benny was in the next aisle over pouring over the new flavors of Mt. Dew in the coolers excitedly. Apparently it was a very big deal. She wasn't pretending to understand.

He bounded over to her with all the usual energy he'd been missing earlier come back after his nap, and his selection, "Hey Tessa, check it out, three new kinds." He waved them in front of her face, and she rolled her eyes.

"You can get one."

"I know that, dude." he said with that mildly put out tone all teenagers get when not immediately understood. "I'm getting this kind," he waved a light blue bottle in her face, "I brought these over for you to choose-I think you'll like the berry one best." A purple bottle replaced the blue, and Tessa shrugged and grabbed it. Berry Mt. Dew actually sounded pretty good. 

"Thanks B." She held up the loot in her arms, "How does chocolate chip cookies and Sun chips sound?"

"Awesome. But we should totally get a little package of licorice to use as straws."

"Ah," She said in her best Master Splinter voice, "The young stoner has learned his lessons well." Tessa continued in her regular voice, as Benny snickered appreciatively, "Sure, grab a pack and meet me by the register-real licorice, not that Twizzler crap." 

He nodded, and set off down the aisle, calling, "Thanks," over his shoulder as he went. Tessa headed towards the register in a much better mood than earlier. Benny had clearly sobered up, come down, whatever you want to call it, mostly at least and seemed to be none the worse off for his misadventure, even if he was clearly refusing to think about how much trouble he was in.  
They paid for their bounty then sat about on the curb in front of the store enjoying the unusually balmy fall weather and stuffing themselves with cookies and chips. Benny grinned as he put his licorice straw in his drink after biting off each end, "Stacey always did this-for us kids I mean, he almost never drank anything but beer himself, but every time he bought us a soda he'd always pull out a package of licorice and hand out a piece, like it was a surprise even after the thousandth time he'd done it." He drew in a shaky breath after he finished, his smile slightly bittersweet, then took a long pull off his "straw".

Tessa hesitated for a moment not quite sure how to phase what she wanted to say, but this had been bugging her since earlier, so eventually she just plunged in. "What's up with you and Stacey? I thought you guys were all getting along fine. Didn't you go and visit him a couple of months ago? And I know you went up for a week right after your birthday. What's going on?"

Benny shrugged his shoulders, body stiffening and eyes dropping to the ground, "I don't want to talk about it."

"B..."

"I said I don't want to fucking talk about it, alright! That motherfucker don't give a shit about me, and I could care less alright? Is that fucking good enough for you?"

"Benny..." She tried to speak as gently as possible, "I was never very close to Stacey, but from what I've seen he loves the hell out of you." 

Benny jumped to his feet and leaned over to glare down at her, yelling in her face, "You don't know what the hell you're talking about, so just mind your own business, and shut the fuck up alright?" Before she had time to get properly offended another voice roared from behind them.

"Nephew! Enough!" Benny froze from the first word, knowing there was only one person who ever called him that, and while it took a lot to upset him, once he was upset, you were just dead. They both turned to look, and sure enough there was Evan, looking unusually grave, especially since he had a thirty pack under each arm. Using the small amount of hand he had free he pointed at the ground in front of him and told Benny to, "Get over here. Now!" B jumped and got. 

Evan was a great big Native guy, about thirty five or so, with a curly beard halfway down his chest and a braid that went almost to his waist, sparkly black eyes and small round silver spectacles, that always slid to the end of his nose, and made Tessa think of a Native American Dumbledore, though he was probably closer in size to Hagrid. He was a smart, friendly guy, a naturalist/hippy who was convinced that plants held a cure for everything, and his only real fault was an overfondness for whiskey, and a bit of a temper to go along with it-something not exactly uncommon in their family-but at the moment he looked anything but friendly, and Tessa was very glad she wasn't Benny. 

Evan had shifted both thirty packs to one arm, and as soon as Benny was within reach he smacked him smartly round the side of the head. Benny rubbed the side of his head, but was wise enough not to complain. Evan smacked him around the other side, and the boy glared, but Evan just glared back. "Thought you said you was a man now that you turned eighteen-I just saw you do two things no real man would do, two things you are never going to do again, and you better listen up because I am very serious." Evan looked down sternly at the boy, one of the few people that still could, as he outstripped both his stepdads by a bit now, and stood even with his mother, who was a rather tall women. The look did the trick and B squirmed, looking like he already felt guilty. Good, Tessa thought, still a bit miffed at his explosion...even if she felt a bit guilty herself for bringing up the subject in the first place. And you know, not stopping the first two times he asked her to…

"Number one-You won't ever yell or curse at a female member of this family like that ever again. You know better, and I shouldn't have to say it. If you wouldn't say it to your Momma or your sister, you shouldn't say it to Tessa either." He looked at Benny expectantly, and once he realized he was meant to respond, he nodded quickly.

"Yes Uncle," he murmured quietly, cheeks red.

"Number two, and the most important-men, especially big, tall men, like us, do not use their size to scare those around them, especially women or kids. You're a big boy and only going to get bigger. You will never loom aggressively like that over a woman again, you hear me?"

"Yes Uncle, sorry." 

"Don't say sorry to me to me, say it to Tessa." Evan countered firmly, and blushing even deeper, Benny turned to her and did so.

"I'm sorry Tessa, really homie,-I was way out of line." 

He looked genuinely sheepish so after only a very brief pause Tessa nodded, and returned, "It’s okay B. And I’m sorry too. When you said you didn't wanna talk about it I shouldn't have pushed you."

"Okay then,” Evan said after looking back and forth between us for a moment, "everybody's happy? Good. Now,” He hefted up the arm that was still effortlessly holding up the two thirty packs, "Who wants to go get drunk with Uncle Evan?"

*·*·*·*·*·*

Jameson frowned and shifted as he stood underneath the high kitchen window, one, that if you were tall enough, was angled so you could see part of the living room through it. Unfortunately he was still waiting for his next growth spurt (and becoming more and more convinced he was never going to get any taller) and couldn't see through the window by himself.

Which was how he'd wound up with Carl on top of him, squishing him and pulling his hair as he tried to keep balanced. "Quit moving around."

"You're going to drop me!" Carl wailed, somehow managing to do it quietly, as he dug his hands deeper into Jameson's short curls.

"No I'm not! And if I do it's only because you're pulling my hair so much I can't see straight!" 

"You promised not to drop me!" 

"I'm not going to drop you!"

A quiet "Hmm." reached their ears from somewhere behind them, and Jameson whirled around, shouting-not coming close to dropping Carl once he might add-only to let out a sigh of relief as he saw it was just his big cousin Marky having hopped over their fence from the yard behind, by jumping from one woodpile to the next, now crouching on the top of theirs and regarding the boys contemplatively.

"Man, Marky you scared me." Jameson smiled, hoping Marky would satisfy himself with teasing the boys about making them shout. Instead Marky just arched an eyebrow, and somehow managed to cross his arms gracefully from his crouching position. Both Jameson and Carl stared enviously. 

"What are you two up to, Jamie-Jamie?" The young Hawaiian man said in tones both highly suspicious and highly amused. As the oldest of the various "cousins" by far at 22 he considered it his job to keep them out of too much trouble-and to make sure they carried out the trouble he did approve of properly. They had a reputation to uphold, after all.

Both boys gave each other what they thought were discreet conspiratorial looks as Carl clambered off of Jameson's shoulders. Marky did his best to keep his face straight, but his lips kept trying to quirk on their own and he practically had to clamp them into place.

"We were practicing playing chicken-we're having a war this weekend with our friends." Carl supplied, even making his voice a little excited at the prospect, and Jameson shot him an annoyed look-really?-before deciding just to go with it.

"Yeah, me and Carl are a team, and we're so gonna win this time." He swung his arm around Carl's shoulder and grinned. Marky about wanted to fall over laughing at their little performance, but just smiled instead.

"Okay,let's say I believe you-which I don't, despite that Oscar worthy performance-but, let's say I do," The boys pouted at this easy see through of their show, but supposed it was unavoidable-Marky had pretty much been the one to teach them to lie. Jameson had always been slightly suspicious that this was so he could tell when they were. 

"First of all-if you guys ever actually do have an epic chicken battle in the park I want to be invited-hell," he said cocking his head to the side as possibilities began to occur to him, "If we got enough sets of people that you could have like a real tournament we could probably sell tickets...possibly bloody teenagers, people would pay to see that right? We could have odds, and run a betting ring..." He shook his head as though to clear it as the boys looked at each other contemplatively, and continued, "Umm, never mind. Forget I said that. But-if you were practicing playing chicken, why wouldn't you do it in the big part of the yard, where if you fall you don't wind up smashing into, a wall and window, a lawn mower," Marky pointed in the direction of each obstacle as he spoke, forming a rough square around them, "a woodpile or a concrete slab?"

He waited briefly for an answer and then continued, still having far too much fun with the situation, "Come on, what are you really doing? You spying?" He grinned at the boys, "C'mon, what's up? You know I won't tell."

"We told you, we're playing chicken.”

“Okay fine. Don’t tell me. See if I teach you two anymore MMA moves.” The boys didn’t even respond to this-Marky had used that threat so many times it no longer held any weight. They knew very well he wouldn’t follow through. “Is Clay home? I need to pay him for something I grabbed yesterday.” 

Rolling his eyes at the thinly veiled code-as though he didn’t know how his stepdad made his extra money-Jameson responded, “Yeah, but I don’t think now’s a good time.”

“If I wait another day I owe him an extra five dollars, and I ain’t got it.” Marky had already hopped off the wood pile but paused before going any further, “Am I gonna get my head chewed off if I go in?”

The two younger boys looked at each other until they seemed to come to some conclusion, and Jameson spoke up again, “Nah, but you’ll hear somebody else getting it. Silas got himself in a ton of trouble, and they’re raking him over the coals in there.” After all if Marky walked in and heard it would be much more embarrassing for Silas than if he just knew.

Marky paused and then winced as his Aunt Jena’s voice carried outside, not sounding pleased at all. “Yeah-I think I’ll just kick it out here with you guys for a while…”

*.*.*.*.*.*

“Okay, I know you don’t really like to drink,” Evan said to Tessa, vaguely confused, “especially not beer,” before directing his attention back to Benny, “You on the other hand, almost never turn down an opportunity. What's up, what’s wrong?”

Benny tried to play it off cool, grinning casually and shaking his head, “Nah Uncle, it’s not like that, I’m just tired is all.” He shifted on his feet a bit as Evan’s facial expression showing he didn’t believe a damn word of it.

“Uh-huh. What’d you do?” He studied Benny for a moment, then his attention turned back to Tessa, “You too. What’s going on?” She hesitated, not wanting to nark on Benny even if he was already caught. “No one’s gonna tell me huh?” He looked back and forth between the two of them and then shrugged. “Alright then, I’ll let it go for now. But I’ll find out before too long, don’t think I won’t.” He started walking down the sidewalk away from them, heading back to his apartment a couple blocks away, his head still craned in their direction, “Try not to get in any more trouble, hey?”

They each breathed a sigh of relief as he disappeared around the corner of the store. Even though Tessa actually hadn’t done anything, the tension of the whole mess was starting to take its toll. Having to explain it to someone would not have been fun. 

“Thank God,” mumbled Benny, “I don’t need to get my ass beat twice.” 

“You think he woulda…?” Tessa trailed off with an eyebrow raised.

“Hell yeah.” He looked at her like she was insane, and for some reason this amused him. “He'd be worse than Ma, if anything. E don’t play around with that shit. One of his family lost a leg, and yeah...” B glanced around a bit nervously, “Let’s get out of here before more relatives start popping out of the woodwork.”

Tess rolled her eyes, but stood up, stretching. They were only a few blocks from the neighborhood, it was possible. Before she could pull her keys out her cell phone shrilled in her pocket. Text message. Almost on instinct Tessa had her hand on B’s shoulder, keeping him steady as it looked like he would bolt-or possibly puke. She didn’t say anything as she pulled her cell out of her pocket, glancing at the screen to confirm what she already knew. “Time to face the executioner, bud. Your mom and Clay want us home now.”

Benny paled. “I’ll give you a thousand dollars to drive me to Canada.”

“Show me the thousand.”

“C’mon!”

“Get in the car B.” 

*.*.*.*.*.*

“Benny come on, you got to get out of the car sometime.”

“Nu-uh. You think they know we’re here yet?”

“No. If they did, they would probably be out here wondering what the fuck was up because we’ve been sitting here for five minutes.” Tessa thumped her head against the back of her seat, frustrated. Benny had declared he was not getting out of the car, nope, not gonna happen, no way, the second they’d gotten parked in the driveway. 

The kid groaned and put his head in his hands. “They’re gonna kill me-they’ll like, send me away to military school, dude! They threatened before you know, Mom brought home pamphlets and everything.”

“You’re eighteen and you don’t live with them, you live with your cousin Seth. Last I heard, you’re paying rent and everything. They can’t send you away to military school.” Before he could respond Tessa turned towards him as she remembered something, “Dude that was a job core pamphlet! You asked her to bring it home for you!”

“…uh. Oh yeah.” Benny shrugged and tried a winning smile on her. “Okay, I just don’t want to go inside. I know I have to. But fuck if I wanna!” He laughed in a slightly self-disparaging way. “Might not be able to send me away, but they can still kick my ass, and not a damn thing I can do about it. Hey, you wanna smoke a bowl before we go inside?” Tessa blinked at the apparent non-sequitur before answering.

“No, 'cause you’ve been stalling long enough. Besides I don’t have any, and at the moment my dealer isn’t exactly in the best mood.” She raised her eyebrows at him to point out that a good chunk of the blame for that lay on his shoulders and he groaned.  
“Yeah, well at least you aren’t probably cut off. He has really good weed right now too.” B straight up pouted, crossing his arms with his lower lip just barely sticking out, “Man, I’m never gonna smoke a bowl again!” He slumped even deeper into the seat, looking about twelve. 

“You don’t actually believe that for a second, or you’d be way more freaked out.” She nudged his shoulder, “C’mon, if we don’t go in soon, someone will notice, even if it’s not one of them, you know how news travels in this family. Would you rather go inside with no fuss, or wait ‘til Clay comes and drags us in?”

“What are you worried about? You didn’t do anything?” It was muttered quietly to his lap, more of a last ditch effort to avoid moving than anything else, but Tessa felt a twinge of guilt anyway, though she wasn’t entirely sure she had anything to feel guilty for…

“Uh, well…I had my suspicions about Silas using again, and I didn’t say anything about it to anyone…not even him.” Ah, yep, there was the clincher. The guilt, hit her like a brick with that last thought. Blinking rapidly she opened her car door, no longer willing to wait Benny out. “C’mon, time to face the music.”

“But that’s not chill,” Benny somewhat distracted by what she had said, slowly began to climb out of the car himself, “They can’t get on you if you didn’t do anything.”

“I didn’t say they will-just that I’m nervous, basically.” They were silent for the rest of the walk up the driveway, and then B froze in front of the door, not wanting to walk in, but obviously knocking would just be weird. They stood there for a second, and then Tessa shoved him a little on his shoulder, “Just go, dude.”

“But…” The doorknob started to turn in front of them and it was like time froze…  
*.*.*.*.*.*


End file.
